but i keep waking up
“just because things could’ve been different doesn’t mean they would’ve been better.” but i keep waking up with visions of people no longer in my life floating around in my head, like clouds that evaporate the longer i’m awake and rainbows that start fading the harder i try to squint. not one to sit with information that doesn’t make sense, i turned to the ever-so-trustworthy realm of the world wide web and looked into possible reasons behind my reveries revolving around ex-friends and former partners so distant in my life’s history that they may as well be strangers. i really truly madly deeply wish i could irreparably dismantle the cycle of sleep that catapults me into a world where i never drifted from anyone. i think that’s what magic is — the ability to alter some path you’ve traveled and adjust the way situations unfolded. it hurts to reminisce about what never was more than it does to regret something that actually transpired.
