i can write about how i feel.

a poem about how, despite this, i can’t feel how i feel.

Photo by Daniel Páscoa on Unsplash

i can write about how i feel,

but i can’t connect to the words themselves.

last year,

i stopped going to therapy because

i felt as though i was

putting on a show.

i think you are supposed to

work through the thoughts

that make you ache,

but what do you do

when you’ve detached so intensely

that none of your experiences register

on an emotional level as being

yours?

i talk about what has happened to me

like it is all part of a fictitious plot line

that i authored in my free time.

even so,

i am aware that it is all real

despite the fact it seems too chaotic

to be anything but an illusion.

in time,

i hope to be able to connect

to the words themselves,

but for now,

i will write

about how

i feel.

☽