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narcissism meets cynicism
i come from a family of narcissists and enablers. i am the only one who is neither, rendering me the scapegoat. today, i decided to finally close the door on those i was still in contact with, and as i practice what it’s like to say what’s on my mind instead of swallowing my words for the sake of my safety and choking on my sanity in favor of prioritizing their comfort, i wrote this poem.
i lived on the corner where
narcissism meets cynicism
in a house with barbed wire
in place of picket fences and
people who bickered amid
defensive tension.
most families have a fire escape
plan. mine set me aflame.
a water sign, i made it out alive
and yet they sanctified the one
who lit the match — a gemini
— and when the golden child is hell personified,
you begin to believe that anything infernal
is everything you must fear.
i wince at the sight of the sun and i cry
at the mere thought of flames. i convince
myself that summer air can catch fire,
