nowadays, i go much slower.

Photo by Nick Hillier on Unsplash

i used to play hide and seek but

instead of counting by number

in a slow manner i’d say,

“1, 2… skip a few!

99… 100!”

and off i’d go

on an escapade

in search of

those who were hiding.

nowadays,

i find myself searching for

people i will never find

yet i’m still looking

because i’m not yet ready

to face the fact that

they will never be found.

you can’t uncover

what you can’t recover,

and recovery was not

in the cards.

still,

i count anyway,

but nowadays,

i go much slower.

i don’t skip a few.

i don’t skip any at all.

instead, i count each number thrice

just to give my mom more time to return.

but you can’t uncover

what you can’t recover,

and recovery was not

in her cards, but i still

keep hoping that

if i stand still long enough,

it’ll give her time to hide and

then be found.