the most formative years of my life.

a poem about the after effects of being silenced throughout childhood.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

during the most formative years of my life,

i was invalidated just as often as i was

ignored — which is to say

all the time.

i remember mornings

where i clenched my fists

around the posts of my bedframe,

screaming at the tippy top of my lungs

and begging to be believed.

i already understood that

nobody was going to listen to me,

so i did all that i could to at least be heard.

nowadays, i either overexplain

or i slip into a defensive frame of mind

because i am so accustomed

to being dismissed

that i cannot fathom

someone treating me

any differently.

at least now

i am prepared to protect

myself — right?

☽